Roommates from HELL

Back from Oblivion

2007-06-17T22:38:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the long await of new posts, I have been extremely busy for so long, between exams, failures and sleeping in the lab for days non stop, I am back and I have a lot of updates on what has been happening for the last few months.

First I would like to tell you about who left from the old roommates.

HollyLand guy left, nodogsland too. snif snif :P.

Typhoon, Slimeball, little Demon are still here and they are still as annoying as ever, Slimeball and Little Demon are cleaner, but Typhoon is worse and worse, he is a fucking filthy bastard, everyday I fight the urge of changing his face so that even his mother won't recognize him.He is still noisy, annoying, sleeps during the day and makes plenty of noise at night.the usual fucker that we expect...

New Flatmates came in and went, three from chocoLand who were the most amazing flatmates till now, amazingly clean, respectful, and friendly they will be missed greatly.

Another yoyolandese came in and he is still here, we shall call him Nononono, this guy is fairly clean, friendly, a bit down on the english language side but oh well you can't ask for anything.The only annoying thing he does is the way he eats, which is typical yoyolandese thing, slurping, and making noise...bleh.

There are two new flatmates from breadland, one(Sporty) is pretty cool regardlness is obsessive behavior regarding sports, the other(Chez) is a bit weird, and annoying he slams doors worse than the yoyolandese, he disrespectful of personal properties of others, he will be dealt with soon enough.

Now since those are out of the way, I am having some problems with unknown flatmates who are doing very direspectful and disgusting stuff.

1)The toilets are sometimes pretty unclean.(shit!)
2)Some people have trouble controlling the aim of their Penis.
3)Some long haired fucker leaves his hair in the shower (Chez)
4)Some fucker is cleaning his nose in the shower and putting the "leftovers" on the wall
5)People cook and not clean the oven...like fucking usual.(all of them)
6)People put things in the microwave and let it explode and splatter without cleaning behind them.
7)Pubic hair everywhere.
8)Smell of rotten food in the kitchen, probably some yoyolandese put his food like usual somewhere and he forgot about.
9)People fucking using my dishes, and cups without my permission.

Since this out of the way, there is a good news...I am leaving out of this shit hole as soon as possible, since I failed my Masters, I have no reason to stick around.Finding another place and moving asap.
:).
Sorry but I don't there will be any other posts anytime soon.

The Day that Filthy Goblin Left

2007-02-10T17:46:00.000Z

It was a public holiday for me, fireworks went up in the air, rainbows everywhere, birds, flowers, motorcycles...woohoo.
The day he said he was leaving was damn GOOD :).

Stuff that I shouldn't be doing

2007-01-23T21:49:00.000Z

by I do them anyway, because the yoyolandeses have zero concept of those.

1)turn off the kitchen light when no one is using it.
2)turn off the bathrooms light when no one is using it.
3)turn off the water heater when they forget to turn it off.
4)turn off the towel heaters.
5)clean the pans that they pretended that they cleaned, so I can cook.
6)remind them to do the stuff above over and over and over.

long live the great land of yoyoland...NOT

The day that wiseguy left....

2007-01-10T22:19:00.000Z

So after 2 months, wiseguy decided to leave; his excuse is that he needed a bigger place because his girlfriend is coming to live with him.
I am starting to wonder if is really the case or he just wanted to ran away from the other yoyolandeses.
Anyway, I was pissed off that he is going away till that moment he was the best roommate between all of them, clean, calm, and wise.
So the job of training the other yoyolandese fell on me, at first I was pretty nice, pretty patient with them and when they do something wrong all I say is: "its okay".
Well if you ever live with yoyolandeses never ever tell them its okay when they make a mistake, its like a green light to do worse.
Anyway, I changed...I started yelling at them and leading them with anger and they were doing most of the time what I wanted. They hate me of course, but who cares :P.

Assholic Roommate

2006-12-12T12:43:00.000Z

This time I am gonna talk about another guy in this flat, he is such an asshole, control freak, always watching everyone's move, a dictator, a zero mistake tolerance tyrant, a decibel delimeter, a smell sensitive, complete weirdo...
who is that?
ME.

What do they do at this hour?

2006-12-06T01:42:00.000Z

Several times, I hear the noise of Little Demon going from his room to Slime ball's room at like 1:30 am, 2:00 am sometimes 3:00 am... he slams some doors a bit (of course) enters...
I hear some deep toned talking, a bit of groaning then Little Demon goes back to his room.
What do you think is happening there?

Long, Black and as thick as a soda can....

2006-12-04T22:30:00.000Z

No, i am not talking about every woman's dream :P...
Its instead what I found in the toilet when I entered the bathroom, a souvenir left by one of my roommates.
Apparently he tried to flush it a few times, but he couldn't so he closed the toilet and put the scrubber over it as a sign not to open it. I just thought it was the cleaning lady who forgot to put it back.
And the horror when I opened it to do my deeds...
i tried to flush it with no success.
what the hell was he the fucker thinking? if it doesn't flush you fucking leave it???
we have 3 bathrooms (for the deeds. 5 in total) and we were 8 at the time, so cancelling one of them makes 8 people have to share 2 toilets... bah what an idiot. what was he counting on?? that it magically disappears? or what?
So I was pissed off, and the wiseguy saw me, I told him what happened... he told me that he thinks its typhoon.
I was more angry (Typhoon never lets me sleep properly with his noise) another thing to make me angry at typhoon, so I wrote a paper... a very rude paper: "The person who left his Shit in here, better clean it fast with hot water. this is disgusting."
The next day he was like annoyed by me because I criticize too much..
Oh shut the fuck up asshole... respect the others, and don't leave your shit laying around public places...
fucker...

Burning Food...

2006-12-03T04:16:00.000Z

so in the first few weeks, trying to adjust to the many culture shocks that I am having from my roommates, I noticed that they actually cook and then take their hot food into their rooms.
So basically even the bedrooms and the hallway around the bedroom... I couldn't nag on what they do in their rooms... but bleh...
Anyway, I got used to smell food on my way to my room, then some days I started to smell some kinda smokey burned food, and it was always in the hallway; I thought damn, this guy doesn't know how to eat at all, or all he is such a newbie considering cooking that he always burns his food (of course none of the yoyolandeses they are natural born coo kers), it was either the guy from nodogspetland or the guy from hollyland...I suspected that its the guy from hollyland, since when i came I didn't know how to cook at all, didn't know how to do anything but he was so much damn worse.
One day the smell got into my room, I got out and followed the smell with my noise it was coming from the guy from nodogspetland, i knocked on his door because it really smelled strong this time, it smelled like smoke... so yelled at him from behind the door: "dude, are you smoking?"... he openned the door and there was a big damn cloud of smoke in his room.
He was smoking without his windows open, he covered the smoke detector with a bag (which is illegal), and smoking like hell (which is illegal too, the place is a non smoking flat).
Bah... people live in flats that are called smokefree flat for a reason... what if I had a fucking allergy or something... anyway...
since all the yoyolandeses have nicknames this guy will be knighted today by the name of Sir Smokey CamelLot.

No time to Study...

2006-11-30T15:27:00.000Z

A few weeks ago, Typhoon came out of his room looking so tired, like he hasn't slept in days. I looked at him, and asked what's wrong? he said, I have been studying for the last several days and I haven't slept for 2 days now,I don't ever have time to study, unless I do that...
I looked at him and said ahuh, then walked away...
What I really wanted to say instead was: " You fucking idiot, instead of cooking 6 hours a day, then talking to your girlfriend for 4 hours a day, then running away in the hall like a 12 year old boy, you could have studied...no time to study my ass you fuck retarded idiot".

Yoyolandeses, no respect for the night...

2006-11-27T05:15:00.000Z

so I tried sleeping a bit early today, at 11:30 pm I turned off my pc , read a bit then slept in bed.
I was having some nice dreams about motorcycles, relaxing sceneries, cool air passing around my helmet while cruising... lovely lovely dream...
But of course, the fucking yoyolandeses had a different agenda for my night, they fucking woke me up at 2:33 am (I looked at the clock), because they were running in the hall way, talking loud and laughing, while making sure they slam some doors...
I don't understand, don't they have some sort of general rules and respect taught in yoyoland??
now its 5:12 am, and can't back to sleep...thanks yoyolandeses...

Its raining Hair, halleluya, its raining Hair... :P

2006-11-26T19:24:00.000Z

Another fine thing that my roommates excel in, is making every single experience in daily actions done in the flat disgusting.
We have 5 bathrooms/showers combined in the flat, and where ever you go, my roommates and this is general the guys from yoyoland, their neighbor from nodogspetland, and the last one from HollyLand, they leave surprises everywhere.
I am a damn hairy guy, and for some reason I never shed as much hair as them.
The guy from HollyLand sheds body hairy in the shower, and never cleans them up (even that there is a big paper in every shower saying to clean), the guy from nodogspetland sheds head hair, he has pretty long hair and he always leaves locks and locks of hair to plug the drain so the shower experience will be more like a mini tub experience :P, and finally the guys from yoyoland, the guys are hairless, except in one place... because when they wear a short and no shirt and you see there is no hair at all, but there are big curly hairs on the toilet seat where they have been...it could only be one thing...yep yep...
Don't they trim???? this is weird... because there is a rumor about yoyolandese that their ehmmm is very tiny... and if they don't trim... how on earth their girlfriends will find it? :P.
just a thought...

Why there is never any hot water ???

2006-11-23T18:10:00.000Z

I can't count how many times that I enter the shower and I find there is no hot water, the flat is designed for 10 people, there is no way that my flatmate used all the hot water. I was getting irritated, then I found out why...
One day I returned from classes early and I found one yoyolandese doing laundry in the shower and he used hot water, and not only this seems all yoyolandese did the same.Which got me angry and I asked him, why are you using the hot water when there is a washing machine in the washing room next door (it takes coins), he told me its not worth to pay for such a small amount of clothes.Which made me wonder about how weird is this, all the yoyolandese pay so much on their food (they throw away a big amount because they can never use it before it rots) but they don't pay for a fucking washing machine... weird people them yoyolandeses.
oh btw...they also hang dry their clothes all over the bathrooms...
bleh...

ummm

2006-11-22T19:03:00.000Z

I think I was too hard on the yoyolandeses...so soon I am gonna write about the other two :P...
and of course finally I am gonna write about myself... I am a sucky roommate too...
hehe

Posts Edit

2006-11-21T12:10:00.000Z

Some posts are being edited below, for more discretion...

DONE.

Introducing the Demons...

2006-11-18T23:38:00.000Z

So after the 2 introductory posts earlier its time to introduce the Demons one by one, their powers, weaknesses, and degree of Evilness:

1)Filthy Goblin: That's the guy who replied with dogs statement, little short guy always smiling trying to make stupid jokes that no body understands(even the other yoyolandeses), He is the noisiest one in the kitchen, is always trying to chop frozen chicken for some reason.His powers: the filthiest in the kitchen, his weaknesses: his girl...she makes him like a little puppy. Degree of Evilness : 7/10.

2)The Wiseguy: That guy shouldn't be a yoyolandeses, he is older than the rest, he is wiser, he is a very quiet person, very clean, and an understanding person, he used to post papers for the other yoyolandeses to clean by turn (which they only do it if they are extremely pushed).Powers: bigger brain, weaknesses: gets annoyed by the same stuff as me. Degree of Evilness: 0/10...I actually liked the guy...too bad he left.

3)Little Demon: This guy is the youngest, he doesn't know how to speak english properly, communication with him is almost impossible, he cooks alot, but generally he is ok. He doesn't bother me alot, his noisy sometime but its acceptable comparing to the next one...Power: none, Weaknesses: no clue. Degree of Evilness: 0.5/10.

4)The Typhoon: One of the most annoying yoyolandeses, just him standing up from his chair, going to his room door, opening it and going to kitchen is an event, the amount of noise that is generated by this simple act is unbelievable, he loves to walk heavily on his heels, walking as fast as possible in the hallway to generate as much noise as possible, and slamming doors.Just getting out his keys from his pocket and unlocking his door makes more noise than a jet passing by (yeah a bit of exageration :P, but he is really noisy).He talks with his gf on cam for hours daily, and for some reason he is like shouting... probably having weird yoyolandese cyber sex. Power: Noise, Weaknesses: Quietness which is cured by noise on regular intervals. Degree of Evilness: 9/10.

5)The Slime Ball: the most disgusting guy of all, while he is eating he breath in heavily from his noise so that snotty noise comes out, and he does that often. When he pees everyone knows its him inside, because he has to prepare a spit (you know that weird noise that is done in the throat to generate as much saliva as possible), spits it, then he pees. Maybe the poor bastard has a problem with penis's mechanics that he can only pee if he spits before, or maybe his penis is actually in his throat... bleh. Power: being obnoxious, Weaknesses: I don't think he has any. Degree of Evilness:9/10

Stay tuned fore more stories tomorow...

Cooking Habits

2006-11-16T22:31:00.000Z

So the Yoyolandeses have weird cooking habits, they do not make sandwiches or anything that can be done quickly at all; everything has to be cooking (breakfast, lunch, dinner).
So basically it was impossible for me at any time of the day to enter the kitchen and not see 1 or more Yoyolandeses cooking and usually cooking takes between an hour to an hour and a half per meal, multiply it by 3 for the whole day.
In Other words the flat always smelled of food all day, everyday.
Cooking starts at the early hour of 10:30-11 and ends up sometimes around 2 am. There are ALWAYS voices coming out of the kitchen which is a disaster because we are suppose to be in a university flat, and we need to study... but no for them cooking comes first.
I can't tell you how many times, I go in the kitchen, see one of them cooking , ask him how long he has been cooking (usually an hour), start cooking myself, finish cooking, start eating, finish eating, clean the dish and utensils, leave back to my room and the guy is still cooking...
The weirdest thing when one of them told me that they can't find the parts of the chicken that they like in here , which surprised me because I can find everything, the parts that he wanted were everything else that we usually throw out.....brrrrrr....
Pure disaster...

But we don't have dogs...

2006-11-16T04:39:00.000Z

So the first week basically was very hectic, I remember running around trying to open a bank account, getting stuff for my room, getting some clothes, boots etc. And I remember clearly how the 5 persons from the same country took over the kitchen, from now on I am gonna refer to the country that they come from as yoyoland, them as the yoyolandeses.
Anyway they took over the kitche, the fridge and almost all the cabinets disregarding that there are other people in the flat, its a flat designed for 10 people but 5 took over it.
The yoyolandeses are pretty friendly, that's about the only positive thing that they have, the rest is a disaster...
Let me start with the first disaster, for the entire first week, the kitchen was getting messier and messier everyday, the yoyolandeses never cleaned after themselves, the tables were getting filthy, the rubbish bags full to the max, the smell of the kitchen awfull, the flat smelled awful too...
Then one day I couldn't take it, I had to clean, so I took away the rubbish bags, thinking that hopefully this is will be seen as the right thing to do by the yoyolandeses, but noooo...2 days later the rubbish bags were full again and no body did anything...
So when all the yoyolandeses were in the kitchen, I spoke out and said: guys don't you think that we should take the rubbish bags out.
so one of them answered: why should we? we don't have dogs in here...

Obligatory First Post

2006-11-16T04:02:00.000Z

Well as usual the first post; I have been in here for 2 months , 6 days ,11 hours and 55 mins approximately, and since then I have been living at the university s accommodations, its not a bad place other than its a bit far from where all my courses are being held (like 2.5 miles away), even the squeaky floor is bearable comparing to my roommates from HELL.

I am living in flat with 10 rooms, we share 2 toilets, 2 showers and 1 toilet/bathroom, we were 8 at the most( we are 6 now).I am the only person from the middle east area, the rest are scattered from around the world, 5 from the same country, 1 from a neighboring country, and the last from the other end of the world.

So basically this blog will be all about my adventures in here, the suffering, the plots and the psychopathic behavior that I reached because of my contact with them... stay tuned for more...